alright well the thing about walmart is to them you are basically just a number. you get griped at all the time. i mean they yell until you have not one shred of self esteem left in you. whatever i dont wanna sound like a whiner. ill just leave it at its bad. so anyway i went to the doctor cause the stress was getting to me and i cant keep food down. found out i have high blood pressure and some ulcers...just dandy right? so i was like damn dude this job is like literally bad for my health. i just could not deal with it anymore.

i went and talked to my boss and now im going from 600 dollars a check to 300. ugh. fuckin shitty. going from full time to part time and losing a dollar in pay going back to days. i already dont have money for food these days. i barely make the rent. now i dont know what the fuck im gonna do. 600 dollars a month is not going to pay for shit. im screwed.

the situation with my girl hasnt changed. im alone every night and i cant seem to ever do anything right. i feel like im walking on eggshells all the time. its like with her not really being able to hang out with me its bad enough. and now when im over there im gonna have to act like were just friends casue her sisters there. and i guess everything is just getting to both of us cause weve been fighting alot lately. the other day we had an amazing day. we went to race go karts and just spent most the night together it was nice. when i woke up i sooo didnt want to take her home. and while its great to see her once a freakin week it still sucks that i cant see her more ya know. and it sucks that we have been fighting when i do see her. im trying so hard to say and do the right things

i feel like i cant do anything right at work and i cant do anything right as a girlfriend. maybe chris was right. maybe im just a worthless waste of time. i sure feel like it these days. and now i can put homeless bum on my list of golden achievements....wonderful.